(This post was transferred from my now-defunct “Unshelved Writing Goals” blog.)

I enjoy riffling through new books on the shelf as much as the next gal. And I appreciate a nice hunka-hunka-burnin’ love on the covers, too. But I couldn’t stop snickering over some unintentional humor in some books on Wal-Mart’s shelves tonight. Let’s take a look.

Why is it the most prominent element of this book cover for Charlene Sands‘ Renegade Wife — a very nice heinie lovingly framed by jeans and chaps — is positioned RIGHT NEXT to some text that says, “She would have it her way … or no way!” Hmm. No wonder he’s wearing chaps.

Now let’s move on to book #2 by Darlene Graham. Here we have a clear case of “Oh hell no, they didn’t say that.” Right above this pretty pregnant woman’s picture we have the title, Lone Star Rising. (Yes, her star is rising, all right. But don’t we usually call it a “bun” in the “oven”?)

And right next to her ginormous ol’ baby belly, we have additional text calling attention to the bump and giving it the old wink-wink-nudge-nudge in case we missed the joke: “Her star will rise again.”

Okay, I can mock this two ways:

• “Yes, we can SEE her star has risen … in fact, it’s about to pop right on out.” (A riff on the baby bump) OR “Well, Lord, she wouldn’t be in such a mess if she had told him to put that darned star away occasionally.” (Obvious joke.)
• I’m thinking that “Rise” should be one of the less-desireable verb choices for a romance cover, particularly one like this.

And then there’s book #3 — some savage man-titty is boldly displayed for your viewing pleasure on Janelle Taylor’s Lakota Dawn. Nothing against man-titty, and a loincloth is always an intriguing choice … am I right, ladies? (I am resisting EVERY URGE to make a choice about revelations resulting from an, um, stiff breeze.) But this guy’s got got one flat pec and one puffy one. Make up your minds, cover artist. It looks like the cover came due in mid-revision. Or maybe he hasn’t saved up enough for more than just one pec implant yet.

He also looks more like he’s heading out to check the surf than to whoop it up for his tribe. (The little known, “Duuude!” tribe.) Whadda ya wanna bet there’s a cooler of ice-cold Buds at his feet?

This brings us promptly to book #4, Dakota Dreams by Madeline Baker, where we’ve got a distant view of a fretful woman and a detailed view of a native American man who is mouthwateringly gorgeous. And doesn’t he know it!

Look at her. She’s clearly got some big concerns but is probably thinking she’ll survive the wild, wild West — after all, she thinks, “I’m pretty brave.” Now look at the fellow, He Who Pouts. He’s thinking, “I’m a pretty, pretty brave.”

And need I point the obligatory cylindrical object thrusting manfully into the foreground? What is it with the manly symbolism, cover artists? We get it. Penises. Gotcha!

Well, I’ll wrap it up with book #5, The Lion’s Daughter by Loretta Chase. It’s actually not so bad, but the fellow’s expression is just daring me. “Oh, yeah, who you callin’ a cliche?”

Nothing, mister Rakish Man. *Growl.*

All I can say when I see his cockeyed stance, tall boots, tight pants and a truly swashbuckling shirt (if ever a swash there was to be buckled), is: “Do you think he has a touch of the Captain in him?”

Technorati Tags: cover art, cover mockery, romance novels, historicals, DropsofBlood.com, Carolyn Bahm, book covers

(This post was transferred from my now-defunct “Unshelved Writing Goals” blog. Contents updated; includes some substitutions for broken links.)

Need some new inspiration to hang your hat on? Me too. I thought I’d share some of the fruits of my online shopping for creativity jump-starters. I’ll be trying several of these out in the weeks and months ahead:

• Writer’s Digest prompts
• The First Line
• Creative Writing Prompts
• WritingFix.com’s Daily Writing Prompts
• Daily Writing Spark (fee-based, but cheap)
• 15 Craft Exercises for Writers
• Charlotte Dillon’s Writing Prompts (You also might want to check out her Romance Writers Community, which has a RWC Writing Prompts Yahoo group)
• Creativity Portal’s Imagination Prompt Generator
• You Don’t Need Inspiration (but you do need seeds of ideas … here are a dozen.)
• 20 Ways to Keep Your Writing Inspiration and Creativity High
• Themes for Personal Writing Inspiration
• Writing Prompts/Journal Topics

I also found some good articles on the topic of smacking your muse around … (Did I say that out loud? No … I meant feeding and nurturing your muse! Or whatever works!)

• Investigations in Writer’s Inspiration
• Writing Ideas: Where Do You Get Them?
• Reading Makes Great Writers

Technorati Tags: writing exercises, prompts, writing ideas, DropsofBlood.com, Carolyn Bahm, writing prompts

The kid in me loves getting a package in the mail — any package. And when it’s a gift or something I’ve won, and not some boring refrigerator or vacuum cleaner replacement part I’ve had to order — oh my. And when that something is a BOOK …

*sigh*

Heaven.

Today, the grownup SFF reader in me is emitting high-frequency squeals because I just got a gift from author S.L. Viehl — her latest book to hit the stands. A book I really wanted! She recently posted a drawing on her blog, Paperback Writer, and gave away paperbacks of Rebel Ice. As a marketing tool, this was very smart to send to eager readers/bloggers, and I hope it nets her some extra publicity. (Check this space in a few days; I’ll post a review.) And as a kind gesture from an author to her fans, it was incredibly generous of her to send some of her books to the ordinary Joes and Jane Does who keep up with her via the blogosphere. And to up the coolness factor for me personally, it’s also signed.

Ain’t I grinning tonight.

The only two things I can recall winning before this are (1) a frying pan in a department store drawing when I was in high school and could not have cared less about cooking and (2) a book about the history of bars and roadhouses and DewDrop Inns and other such fine establishments in some midwestern state. (I was around the zillionth-place winner. Took me a week to figure out why someone had sent me the book. I kept looking back through my various book club fliers, wondering what brain aneurysm I had suffered to make me order that.)

Cool. New. Book. Love it! If I hadn’t already stayed up way too late with blogs tonight, I’d dive through a few pages tonight.

Well … I don’t really need THAT much sleep for a Tuesday at work …

(Followup on Rebel Ice: I’m sorry that I never posted a review of this book. My confession is that I didn’t finish it. It’s no fault of the writing itself, which was good. I’m squeamish sometimes and  just didn’t like part of the subject matter once I started reading. So sorry! - Carolyn)

P.S. Just heard from the Literary Chicks that I’ll be getting a signed copy of Beth Kendrick’s Fashionably Late, too. How cool is that? I can’t wait to curl up on the sofa and discover her writing style; I do love me some toe-curling good chick lit. I’ll blog about it and do a review when this book lands in my mailbox too.

Thanks to the authors who are sharing copies of your latest books via your blogs. I think this is a great way to reward, inspire and attract readers while you introduce your latest book to the market. And it’s such a fun, nice thing to do, too. Thank you!

(Follow-up on Fashionably Late: Well, this doubles my embarrassment. Because I had a stack of several books to read, I loaned the copy of this one to someone … who lost it. So I never got to read it! *Wah!* Sorry for not posting a review — my face is flaming red over this.)

Technorati Tags: DropsofBlood.com, Carolyn Bahm, free books, book promotion, book reviews